Friday, January 1, 2016

1 Corinthians 13:12


First 2 days of 2016

It's 2nd of January of 2016, Like usual, I spent my New Years Eve alone, figuring things out for the immediate future. It's have been a hell of a ride for me, for the past 3 years since I quit my last job, life is tough and not easy for me back then, and still for now. I have to admit my life is not easy, business i build with my friend is not working, applying to hundreds of job and no luck getting them, I'm almost lost it, frustrating and begin to have a bad habit in the process. I got away from God, cursing churches, question every God existence, blaming other people who suppose to be there for me, but they are not, people lose their confidence in me, blaming me for the thing I did and did not do, a lot of crap stuff happening.

 In the past of couple of months, I starting to have contact with my former spiritual leader, a man of God and a very respectful, supportive friend of mine. Every week we would spent one hour riding a bike in the complex, and at the every end of it, he was praying for me, exchange thought and ideas, encouraging me again, built up my believe toward God. Looking back, I feel it work out, the passion inside me is starting to grow again, I can feel His presence again in my life (it's still a working progress but I'm happy how it turn out). Right now I'm take a small step into recovering and building my life again, have a work to do, not much but progressing, and happy to look forward to it. Have a possible job in the process.

 I just want to give a credit to several people, that make things more colorful. At the course of the time, I find out a lot of myself, I realize that I'm a true, 100 percent, no fake introvert. That discovery is based on I'm comfortable for being alone, being in a small group of people I know. I'm not antisocial, just google for introvert and learn yourself about it.

I have a several close friends and I'm so happy that they are there to support me, encourage me, give me some advises and help me necessarily. Yesterday is my best friend's wife birthday, and I have a blast spending time with him and his families. I have a food coma back then, a lot of good and sinful food. I feel that is a good start of the year.

 Here are several things need to be done in this year, I call it "bounce back" year, enough with the misery and self blame:
 - I drink my last bottle of 1.5l or coke in new year eve, and will not (try) to drink it again through out the year, and reward myself at the end of this year. This is the one of bad habit that i have in the process of grieving.
- Drink sweets stuff aside from coke only once a month
- Have a better lifestyle and exercise more - Finish up reading a bible, i'm attend to 1 year plan from YouVersion bible app
- Lose 1 kg every month
- Connect more with people (not pushing them away) and also do some reconciliation if that person can forgive me
- Have a steady income
- Have my own place
- Gradually throw away some other bad habit and/or addiction that can't be reveal here
- Go to church again (never been there since I already forget when the last time I've been there)

 I know that this every year resolution is like a things to do at every start of new year, but i felt differently now, I believe I can do it. I give Him a total control of my life and re gain total control of myself, not depend on other opinion. I have read this amazing quotes from one of my idol "You can't live obsessing about what other people think about you, if you did, you wouldn't live. Not even God can please everyone," - CR7

 I'm writing this just as a reminder and progress of what I have been achieve. Let's be kind 2016, please, I'm so tired of it.

 Thank you God for giving me another day to breathe, so write some story, to inspire people in near future from my own experience. See you again next time

Friday, January 1, 2010

This is My 2010 Theme ^^



Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
Have Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keepin Track.

Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Now Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Time
And The Other Half's Luck

Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life
And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility
Hmmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It By It ??
To Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility
Hmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get than I Get

Oh You Know It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get
I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

PS: Focus on the lyrics that I bold, I know this will make a bias!! Hahahaha.....
I Really love this songs, specially Buble, He got a great voice!!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

NEW YEAR Greetings!!!

There's a lot of things to write, I would like to write some New Year greetings to all of my Fam, Friends , Loved ones, let get started :

First of all for JC :

Thanks for wonderful year, tough one, but i manage to survive, with ur help of course. I can't imagine live without you, sorry for being a bit unfaithful, and thanks again to always have a faith in me, u're my best friend, God, Father, Teacher EVER!!! no one compare to u. I really hope that next year we will have more relationship, gettin closer to you and gain more wisdom en knowledge from you. Happy New year!!!

To My Family:

Thanks to my Mom, for being the best mom ever, support me in all of the situation I got, sorry for let u down sometimes but still u have faith in me. I would like to have more intimate relationship with u, en hope 2010 will bring better things for this house.

Thanks to my dad, even we rarely communication, but i believe every words is worth it, i'm looking forward for a better year en better relationship with u, thanks for everything, i wish u a awesome year.

Thanks to my sister, thanks for being an awesome sister for me through out 2009, there'sups en down but u still be there for me, I miss U A LOT!!! I wish u a wonderful and fruitful year in 2010, en everything will gettin even better en better!!

Thanks for my brother, i really looking forward for 2010,i would like to have a better relationship with u, not just being a good brother 4 u, but also a friend that u can talk en share to, i wishing u a brighter year!! learn from mistake en don't fall on the same spot again!! Love u all!!!!

Thanks to my grandpa en grandma, i'm wishing u a great year ahead, God gave good health en much pleasure live ahead!! Love u too!!!

This for my cousin Willy : Happy new year too bro... thanks also being a great family en friend to me, i'm also inspired by ur determination ,passion of Christ, through every word ur said or type on ur blog, it's such a blessing 4 me en i believe all of ur friends there. Keep rise up to the next level bro!!! Can't wait for may 2010 ^^ Have a blast day!!!!

For My Uncle : I have no real words to describe this, I would like to thanks for everything that u did in this family, it's such a blessing to have an uncle like you, we might not have been close enough, but i'm looking forward to get to know each other.I'm personally would like to have a big bro, en I guess u're the closest one ^^ .Personally i would like to thanks a ton for the assistance u gave to me, it's really priceless, the lesson that u gave, it's just overwhelmed. Wishing u a great year ahead, I believe God will bless u even more, Happy New Year!!!

All My Auntie, Uncle, Cousin,Nephew, Niece ETC: Have a wonderful year Ahead!! Kept expecting things to come, that God will never leave nor forsake u!!! He have a great plan for all of you, u're destined for GREAT!!

For My Friends:

Agnes Dyke : Thanks for being a good friend of mine, u done great, help me a lot. we might not talk much, but I believe our friendship will last forever.Looking forward to see ur baby, i'm gonna be a proud uncle!! Heheheehehe.... Have a blast year!!

Yusly Leonando : Thanks Bro for everything, support me in a good en bad situation, advise me with ur words, it's such a blessing to have you, Looking forward to have a better one in 2010. Happy New Year!!! Hope u got everything u want en desire, keep love God, that's the key!!

Danny Tan : Thanks bro, for ur help.Without u, I cant really tell where I am now. Thanks for the patience for me. Hope a blast year, gettin married en success in everything u plan!! Happy New Year bro!!

Hana A Sutedja : I hope I write ur name correctly.. ^^ Thanks to being such a good listener foe all my whining through out the year, thanks to support all my decision, en being faithful for me... i can even recall anyone better that u, it's really priceless have friends like you, and also thanks to share ur life with me wishing u a blast en awesome year ahead!!!!u ROCKS!!! Happy New Year!!!

Sasa: Thanks Girls for everything, for ur ears, heart en mind. That u spare it with me. I will not walked this far if it's not because of you, also thanks to share ur life with me. Thanks for accompanying me to hospital, it's really blessing to have a friend like u.I really wish u all a happy new year!! Have a blast year!!

San2 : Thanks for being my faithfully friends in Google Talk, it really help me a lot to killing time, it's a honor to know u, have u as my friend. Thanks for everything u done in my life in 2009, looking for a better one in 2010.. Happy new Year!!

Yanita : Thanks also for ur faithfully BUZZing me, it's great to know I have such a great friends, thanks to trust me , thanks for all of ur support through this difficult time, it was priceless... Happy New Year Sis.... Have a good look on the sunrise en shaking cars.. LOL

Randy : Thanks bro for ur help, I know there's some of tension for couple of months, but i really wish that we can start fresh, en put everything behind. Happy new Year!! Have a beautiful year ahead!!

Johan Logito : Happy New year bro, good to have a good friends like you, thanks for everything... Looking forward to see u (when I can see u, since u really busy rite now) ^^

Hmmmm.. I'm kinda out of words, but trying to keep it up ^^

Billy Sundjaya : Bill, Thanks ya buat semuanya, thanks for being a good friends dari dulu mpe sekarang. Mau ditumpangin tidur setiap kali g ke Bandung, I wish u never bore with it, thanks for sharing ur life with me ^^ Happy New Year!! Hope 2010 every wishes will come true.....

To All My LH Teacher: u guys ROCKS, it really been a privileged to get to know an awesome man en woman of God, that share the same PASSION!! It's PRICELESS!! I wouldn't trade anything for that. Thanks For Merry, being such a good leader, u can achieve even MORE!!! Thanks to Rony, Haryono, David en Joshua for being a MAN there, with me.. Hahahaha u guys irreplaceable!! For Liana, constantly nice to me en love eat BK a lot, really girl, nothing can compare with u!! LOL For Yenny that share a wonderful Christmas spirit, looking forward to cruise another awesome year with this TEAM!!! Thanks for all of you, for being nice en good 4 me... Happy New Year to Mieke,Ratna,Ryna,Dessy,Nana,Catherine,Lily,Meri Lim... Many Thanks..!!!!!

To my ex-colleague:

Catrina Kho : Thanks for being such a good (x)boss for me, good sister, provide me with the one of the most delicious food, no one can compare that, thanks, a big en huge thanks for an impact that u made in my life. Looking forward to have a better journey ahead. Happy New Year ci, have a blast year for whole family!!!

Lio Rita : Yeah2 Yeah Yeah.. I should have hear u.. Hahahhaha.. Thanks for being there for me, for how much u have been busy, still manage time to reply my G-Talk, even i need to wait for DAYS for the reply.. LOL... Thanks for being a good example foe me a good BIG sister... ^^ Have a nice en blast New Year!!!

Debby Susanto : Thanks little sis, for support me in every decision that I take, even hear all of my complain through out the year, in new or in old company, Thanks, many thanks for that, I can't tell you how much worthy u are. Happy New Year!!

Laidy Budiman : Happy New Year Bro, thanks for using MY happy puppy card, u make me famous there,(just by name) LOL Thanks for all year being a good friends, from all the happiness en also all the sadness ^^

I forgot one, Joni Lay : Thanks a lot bro for everything, the support, the help, being faithful for me, the wisdom, the... what else?? I'm speechless.. thanks for being my best buddy through out this year, it's been a tough year for me, en I always can count on you, i can't give u anything, but i can only pray 4 u ^^ all the best bro in 2010, all the best!!! Camera, Xbox, PS3 , BABY!!!! Yeah i'm going to be a lot of uncle for everyone, that excite me!!! Happy New Year!!!



Voice from Microsoft Words.... ^^

28th December 2009 - 11:05AM (@ the office without Internet)


Right now, I’m writing from Ms Word, since 24th December, I got no internet connection anymore, so I miss a lot of things here (Read: Connection to the REAL WORLD.. Hahahaaha) It’s a long story, that I won’t share it here, it’s too personal and I think it’s not rite to write it here ^^ , the reason I make this blog is to share good things, to encourage people who read this to have a better life, and also my tribute to the loved ones (God, Families, Friends en Others) So I’m trying to be as positive as it look, even in my deepest or lowest moment in my life. ^^


So, usually I catch up with friends through YM, Twitter, FB, etc. Since today, I can do that, I just count on my cell phone to communicate with them or using Company’s E-mail. And FYI Internet is the only reason that I survived it here, so now, I need to think something else. ^^


I just want to look back my life, especially for the past 2 months. I felt that is the moment of the most negatives ‘Erick’ in 2009. I’m so frustrated with life here, everything seem so wrong, en what I’m doing is never enough. I’m complaining a LOT, whine a LOT and everything. Thanks to my friends that always be there for me, u guys Rocks!! At some point, especially when I spent my long holiday, yesterday, I made up my decision. I need to get out fro here soon. I’m not being fruitful here, not a bit. Most of the people will just (easily) said that Hang in there a bit more… The reason why I move up here, cause I see a potential raise, improvement, so when the fact the reality, en all of the element of ur body, mind, spirit went wrong, I think it’s the time u say enough, u need to take u-turn asap, don’t waste any more second going into wrong direction. I’ve heard that God have a quite way to teach you, en really I can’t explain how I felt right now.

The points are : -every open doors, is not always ur doors ; when u make a wrong turn, don’t wait too long till u lost, take u-turn asap ; Never ever felt ashamed if u have to took back ur word (for a really good reason, sometimes this just become a barrier for someone to move forward)-


28th December 2009 - 11:45AM (still @office without Internet)

I really got nothing to do right now, all the work is completely done, it’s a holiday season, so everything is looks really slow, not as hectic as usually, and most of the boss is taking day off.

I just would like to summarize my “own made” holiday.


On Wednesday, 23rd December 2009:

I went to Siloam Hospital, checking on my condition, it’s been 2 months I always have a problem with my lungs, I have a difficulty to take a breath, and cough hard a lot. My friends told me that I’ve been a lot of stress, en she sounds rite, the doctor said there nothing critical there, in the first examination he just gave me some medicine to take, and will return to him for about a week, to do further test. Thanks to Sasa, that she willingly accompanied me that day. Nothing special for the rest of the day.


On Thursday, 24th December 2009:

Have quiet morning, have a little distraction there, since my bro’s friend ask him to take care of her dog, while she’s on vacation, so I got a morning call every day. On the afternoon, I went to my best buddy house, we play some video game, and unfortunately I lost on some of that game, it a little embarrassment for me, since he never defeated me all time, and after that he kept on teasing me about the game. I’m really a competitive person, that really hard for me to take a defeat LOL. We have a dinner in Yuraku, Kelapa Gading. We’ve planned this before, so we got a reservation earlier, the place is so packed, when I got in for the first time, I’m loosing my appetite, caused it was a mess. Since I’m very hungry myself, it came back, en we have a blast dinner, eat to the full!!! ^^ For your information, right before we got to Yuraku, we have a detour on Ketoprak (the best that I can tell) we ordered 2 portion for 3 people. I really look forward to get it again. It’s a great Christmas Eve, spent time with good friends.


On Christmas Day 2009:

My Mom leaving us to Jambi, since there’s a friend of her that pass away so she want to go there. Actually I want to have a family dinner on that day, but… we never know what will happen tomorrow. My day started with Hoka2 Bento for lunch. My friend asks me to watch movie with Him en his GF, so I went to SMS. I’m watching an almost 3 hours of the greatest movie in 2009, yeah u know AVATAR. It really a great movie, I even don’t want to leave the studio, or end the movie, it’s really speechless. The creator, director of it was really BRILLIANT!!! GENIUS!!! And have a moral story in it, really deep. I can relate it with our earth condition right now. We tend to ignore our mother earth, that showing sign of real bad destruction, for our own greed, we never preserve them, to selfish; we even don’t realize that our life is supported by it. Hopefully we can learn that lesson as soon as possible. At nite, I’m having dinner with my ex-colleague from APP, we ate Duck King.


On 26th December 2009:

Decide it to have some quality time with my friend, we haven’t had this kind of conversation in long time. Good to catch up each other. @TA dinner at Pasta de Waraku, good restaurant with a lot of variety, but a bit of pricy.


On 27th December 2009:

Playing FM 2010 all day, till have to pick up mom from airport, having a good dinner ‘Martabak India’ I have no idea what it called in English. ^^


Rite Now, 28th December 2009:

Back to reality, read book, hear some music, work a bit and so sleepy. ^^

No point at all, just killing time with this writing. And also thinking about 2010…

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas -

It's 3 days before Christmas, I already celebrate Christmas in my church. The service is always great, they never stop to surprises you. The drama presentation is beyond awesome, the message delivered through it, very powerful, and many more. We also already celebrate the Christmas for the kids, it was amazing, the kids are so cute, the decoration is great, we worked it all out only within hours (the day before). I can't wait to see the photo taken on that day (by me) There's a bunch of pretty face, exciting faces and just priceless.

Just about yesterday, I just find out what would be my first resolution for 2010. I started this year with this blog, en I determine to continue with it, it was fun, even I still need a lot of improvement, A LOT.... hehehehe.... Back to the resolution, the first list, en the most important thing to do next year is praying.. yes PRAYING... It's really funny, that I become a christian almost the rest of my life, but never (really, really) realize that Praying is the most powerful weapon God gave to us. Not that I never prayed, but just sometimes. "If u pray little its probably because u believe prayer doesn't accomplish very much.." this is the phrase that stabbed my heart... ^^ so deep... It's like Holy Spirit talked to me " Erick, Pray More!!" That's why I'm going to make it the most next year, it's a real Christmas gift that God gave to me ^^

In my next post I would like to summarize what happened in 2009, all the pro and con's.

Keep praying, u never know what can you do with praying... Move God's Hearts ^^

Have a good day!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Love vs Forgiveness

It's already December, always love the Months, it's Jesus Christ birthday, could never think the best present for Him, except my own Heart only toward Him. I guess that the best give that we ever possible gave to Him. It seems simple but yet very complicated and challenging.

I don't know how related this is, but i'll try hard to make it related. He2x. Yesterday I got an email, a very shocking email, I never knew that thing until he tell me that. I've learn that for some people or most of them, when they got a traumatized in the past, it will just carried away up till now. That's why I titled this Love en forgiveness.

The letter/e-mail that receive is inform me that I have caused him that really traumatized event, that I even can't recall that. I already apologize to him, because I love him so much, and really I'm glad that he told me that. The happier is He can accept my apology, and move on, I never said it easy but, hey... you can do it, it's all because of grace en mercy that God gives to us.

I have heard many story bout this kind of stuff, bitterness and traumatized from the past. And I can say that, in order to get free from it, you need to forgive people that did it to you, beside forgive you also need to open your heart, to have a courage to tell someone, share it (of course with the person that u trusted most, or you know that they can really help you) I can't see other way from that two can lead to a total reconciliation, not only between u en ur God, but also it'll improve your life (for sure).

One other thing that I want to share to you, it's about the choice. I might related to the bitterness things. This is just my opinion. You, never ever can blame anything that happen in ur life, not ur God, the circumstances , the people that hurt you etc. NEVER!! It's not easy to accept those situation, NOT EASY, but we need to be more wise, to see things in different perspective. Everything happen for a reason, the reason that if we can't open our heart en mind, trying to accept it, it will be never reveal (the reason why it happen). In every situation, actually you have a choice, have en option to chose, to do it or not, accept it or not. You must also realize that every action will come into consequences. There are instant one en also there's need time to see the result of it. So it's really about our choice, u can't put the blame to other (even it might be effect you directly) In other words, you have a choice to put all the things in the back en fixed things en see toward future. Don't get your past stop God blessing upon you, God had a master plan to you, ur potential put on hold cause u can't see tomorrow.

I have find an interesting, when God (in my opinion) change the 10 commandments into a simple phrase "Love ur God en Others with all you got" It mean that He want us to love each other, support each other.. That the greatest give that God have for us, and in return He just want us to share Love, to God also to other. Love can't be buy yet it's free. You have that love inside urself, u just need to distribute it.

Spread some love, en love will grant you the ability to forgive, en when u forgive you have no idea what God prepared for you... It's just AWESOME, beyond AWESOMENESS...

Have a good day ^^