Voice from Microsoft Words.... ^^

28^th December 2009 - 11:05AM (@ the office without Internet)

Right now, I’m writing from Ms Word, since 24^th December, I got no internet connection anymore, so I miss a lot of things here (Read: Connection to the REAL WORLD.. Hahahaaha) It’s a long story, that I won’t share it here, it’s too personal and I think it’s not rite to write it here ^^ , the reason I make this blog is to share good things, to encourage people who read this to have a better life, and also my tribute to the loved ones (God, Families, Friends en Others) So I’m trying to be as positive as it look, even in my deepest or lowest moment in my life. ^^

So, usually I catch up with friends through YM, Twitter, FB, etc. Since today, I can do that, I just count on my cell phone to communicate with them or using Company’s E-mail. And FYI Internet is the only reason that I survived it here, so now, I need to think something else. ^^

I just want to look back my life, especially for the past 2 months. I felt that is the moment of the most negatives ‘Erick’ in 2009. I’m so frustrated with life here, everything seem so wrong, en what I’m doing is never enough. I’m complaining a LOT, whine a LOT and everything. Thanks to my friends that always be there for me, u guys Rocks!! At some point, especially when I spent my long holiday, yesterday, I made up my decision. I need to get out fro here soon. I’m not being fruitful here, not a bit. Most of the people will just (easily) said that Hang in there a bit more… The reason why I move up here, cause I see a potential raise, improvement, so when the fact the reality, en all of the element of ur body, mind, spirit went wrong, I think it’s the time u say enough, u need to take u-turn asap, don’t waste any more second going into wrong direction. I’ve heard that God have a quite way to teach you, en really I can’t explain how I felt right now.

The points are : -every open doors, is not always ur doors ; when u make a wrong turn, don’t wait too long till u lost, take u-turn asap ; Never ever felt ashamed if u have to took back ur word (for a really good reason, sometimes this just become a barrier for someone to move forward)-

28^th December 2009 - 11:45AM (still @office without Internet)

I really got nothing to do right now, all the work is completely done, it’s a holiday season, so everything is looks really slow, not as hectic as usually, and most of the boss is taking day off.

I just would like to summarize my “own made” holiday.

On Wednesday, 23^rd December 2009:

I went to Siloam Hospital, checking on my condition, it’s been 2 months I always have a problem with my lungs, I have a difficulty to take a breath, and cough hard a lot. My friends told me that I’ve been a lot of stress, en she sounds rite, the doctor said there nothing critical there, in the first examination he just gave me some medicine to take, and will return to him for about a week, to do further test. Thanks to Sasa, that she willingly accompanied me that day. Nothing special for the rest of the day.

On Thursday, 24^th December 2009:

Have quiet morning, have a little distraction there, since my bro’s friend ask him to take care of her dog, while she’s on vacation, so I got a morning call every day. On the afternoon, I went to my best buddy house, we play some video game, and unfortunately I lost on some of that game, it a little embarrassment for me, since he never defeated me all time, and after that he kept on teasing me about the game. I’m really a competitive person, that really hard for me to take a defeat LOL. We have a dinner in Yuraku, Kelapa Gading. We’ve planned this before, so we got a reservation earlier, the place is so packed, when I got in for the first time, I’m loosing my appetite, caused it was a mess. Since I’m very hungry myself, it came back, en we have a blast dinner, eat to the full!!! ^^ For your information, right before we got to Yuraku, we have a detour on Ketoprak (the best that I can tell) we ordered 2 portion for 3 people. I really look forward to get it again. It’s a great Christmas Eve, spent time with good friends.

On Christmas Day 2009:

My Mom leaving us to Jambi, since there’s a friend of her that pass away so she want to go there. Actually I want to have a family dinner on that day, but… we never know what will happen tomorrow. My day started with Hoka2 Bento for lunch. My friend asks me to watch movie with Him en his GF, so I went to SMS. I’m watching an almost 3 hours of the greatest movie in 2009, yeah u know AVATAR. It really a great movie, I even don’t want to leave the studio, or end the movie, it’s really speechless. The creator, director of it was really BRILLIANT!!! GENIUS!!! And have a moral story in it, really deep. I can relate it with our earth condition right now. We tend to ignore our mother earth, that showing sign of real bad destruction, for our own greed, we never preserve them, to selfish; we even don’t realize that our life is supported by it. Hopefully we can learn that lesson as soon as possible. At nite, I’m having dinner with my ex-colleague from APP, we ate Duck King.

On 26^th December 2009:

Decide it to have some quality time with my friend, we haven’t had this kind of conversation in long time. Good to catch up each other. @TA dinner at Pasta de Waraku, good restaurant with a lot of variety, but a bit of pricy.

On 27^th December 2009:

Playing FM 2010 all day, till have to pick up mom from airport, having a good dinner ‘Martabak India’ I have no idea what it called in English. ^^

Rite Now, 28^th December 2009:

Back to reality, read book, hear some music, work a bit and so sleepy. ^^

No point at all, just killing time with this writing. And also thinking about 2010…

Christmas -

It's 3 days before Christmas, I already celebrate Christmas in my church. The service is always great, they never stop to surprises you. The drama presentation is beyond awesome, the message delivered through it, very powerful, and many more. We also already celebrate the Christmas for the kids, it was amazing, the kids are so cute, the decoration is great, we worked it all out only within hours (the day before). I can't wait to see the photo taken on that day (by me) There's a bunch of pretty face, exciting faces and just priceless.

Just about yesterday, I just find out what would be my first resolution for 2010. I started this year with this blog, en I determine to continue with it, it was fun, even I still need a lot of improvement, A LOT.... hehehehe.... Back to the resolution, the first list, en the most important thing to do next year is praying.. yes PRAYING... It's really funny, that I become a christian almost the rest of my life, but never (really, really) realize that Praying is the most powerful weapon God gave to us. Not that I never prayed, but just sometimes. "If u pray little its probably because u believe prayer doesn't accomplish very much.." this is the phrase that stabbed my heart... ^^ so deep... It's like Holy Spirit talked to me " Erick, Pray More!!" That's why I'm going to make it the most next year, it's a real Christmas gift that God gave to me ^^

In my next post I would like to summarize what happened in 2009, all the pro and con's.

Keep praying, u never know what can you do with praying... Move God's Hearts ^^

Have a good day!!

Love vs Forgiveness

It's already December, always love the Months, it's Jesus Christ birthday, could never think the best present for Him, except my own Heart only toward Him. I guess that the best give that we ever possible gave to Him. It seems simple but yet very complicated and challenging.

I don't know how related this is, but i'll try hard to make it related. He2x. Yesterday I got an email, a very shocking email, I never knew that thing until he tell me that. I've learn that for some people or most of them, when they got a traumatized in the past, it will just carried away up till now. That's why I titled this Love en forgiveness.

The letter/e-mail that receive is inform me that I have caused him that really traumatized event, that I even can't recall that. I already apologize to him, because I love him so much, and really I'm glad that he told me that. The happier is He can accept my apology, and move on, I never said it easy but, hey... you can do it, it's all because of grace en mercy that God gives to us.

I have heard many story bout this kind of stuff, bitterness and traumatized from the past. And I can say that, in order to get free from it, you need to forgive people that did it to you, beside forgive you also need to open your heart, to have a courage to tell someone, share it (of course with the person that u trusted most, or you know that they can really help you) I can't see other way from that two can lead to a total reconciliation, not only between u en ur God, but also it'll improve your life (for sure).

One other thing that I want to share to you, it's about the choice. I might related to the bitterness things. This is just my opinion. You, never ever can blame anything that happen in ur life, not ur God, the circumstances , the people that hurt you etc. NEVER!! It's not easy to accept those situation, NOT EASY, but we need to be more wise, to see things in different perspective. Everything happen for a reason, the reason that if we can't open our heart en mind, trying to accept it, it will be never reveal (the reason why it happen). In every situation, actually you have a choice, have en option to chose, to do it or not, accept it or not. You must also realize that every action will come into consequences. There are instant one en also there's need time to see the result of it. So it's really about our choice, u can't put the blame to other (even it might be effect you directly) In other words, you have a choice to put all the things in the back en fixed things en see toward future. Don't get your past stop God blessing upon you, God had a master plan to you, ur potential put on hold cause u can't see tomorrow.

I have find an interesting, when God (in my opinion) change the 10 commandments into a simple phrase "Love ur God en Others with all you got" It mean that He want us to love each other, support each other.. That the greatest give that God have for us, and in return He just want us to share Love, to God also to other. Love can't be buy yet it's free. You have that love inside urself, u just need to distribute it.

Spread some love, en love will grant you the ability to forgive, en when u forgive you have no idea what God prepared for you... It's just AWESOME, beyond AWESOMENESS...

Have a good day ^^

Dejavu..

24th November 2009..

I was planning to go with LH teacher on Saturday, because of I turned down the alarm that suppose to woke me up, I missed it, and regret it very much *sigh* so lookin forward for the next field trip with you guys....

Actually that Saturday was (supposed to) my getaway from the hectic weeks (want to say months) away from Jakarta, and related to people, real people ^^ But what can I say, it's because of my own faults though......

That week is quiet a week for me, I took leave on Monday, and on Tuesday I have a supplier visit, so basically I only got 3 days in the office (I loved it very much). Plus this week Monday visit supplier, and Friday we got Holiday!!! how cool it is, two weeks in row only 3 days office hour (wish I can get this every week)

On Monday (for the first time) I wake up on 6, because we have visit to Serang, I got pick by my colleague near home, so I'm really happy for that (not wake up from 4am) They got me on 9 ++ i really enjoy every second of it... LOL



So we reach Serang around 10.30am, we're having a discussion, plant visit and doing a fun stuff there (for me away from Karawang is the best thing ever) While sitting in the room, I realize something, the office that we visit, was my ex-employer. I'm not going to lie to you that I really miss my old office, specially the warmth, dynamic, intelligent and cool people that used to be my colleague. At that time it almost make me want to cry (so sensitive.. ^^ ) because of all of the memories that we're having back days, it's PRICELESS. I wish to (honestly) turn back time en reconsider again all the decision that I took.

We're planning to see each other this Thursday, I'm looking forward to it, real badly!!!


The point is: I don't want to look back, It's useless, so I've something in the future, real close and I'm looking to it, I hope that I can share it soon. It's just awesome!!!!

- Don't Ask -

Still in huge influence from lamentation, I found a phrase that said "don't ask" very interesting. In every problem that we're facing we often (seems like) rushing God to solve the problem right away, we always nag Him for an answer. Nag is different from having faith and pray on it, I'm not saying that we can't ask Him, or pray for it.But do not Nag!! God is God, He know us en He will help you with His way.. ^^

In the problem that I'm facing, I often nag God, complain this, complain that. And just out of no where, that word keep popping on my mind "don't ask". I've started the don't ask treatment for a week, just having a simple prayer, askin God for the help, but not with the nag thing (when, how,when, and more when... ^^)

Out of the silence not nagging God, I have some good news (not really, but I'm excited already) Hopefully it will be answer within this week. So this is my second week of treatment and I'm expecting more from God.

He just simply want to say to us, "I know what you've been through, I'm working with something, just be patience bout it, I will help you, that my promises won't fail, I can guarantee that ^^"

Have a nice day... ^^

Weekend.....

End of October....

I just can't believe that it's already November again, en when I look up to my resolution, *sigh* you know what i meant... Hahahahahaaha...

I always believe, and saying to myself times to times that this year I will receive something big, that will eventually change my life, with 2 months left, i keep manage my expectation high (even deep down, really deep down.. there's pessimism, but i tend to buried it really deep.

It have been an unpleasant 2nd semester in my life, seriously in my Life!! It's really tough a lot of things happen and reach it peak. But thank you I have such a great family, friends and God. I really hang on Lamentation 3 from Message bible.

Today i manage to write something because of my boss is not around and I'm finish my job already, and counting down to 5 now. On Sunday will have some meeting, (not really a meeting) hang out with my friends, that always be there for me, that kept me alive Hahahahhaha... We're planning to have a lunch in Plaza Indonesia, and I'm really craving for Burgers!! I have to eat one this weekend!! It's going to be fun, and I'm looking forward to it.

And I really got a change to relate with all the JPCC Kids teacher on 21st November. We're having an out bound in Jakarta, it's all day event en surely it's going to be awesome!!! Will get back to write more....

God bless and keep head up...

Lamentation

This post just simply to remind me this moment I've been through....

One of my friend share this passage, en I find it "AWESOME"

Lamentation 3 (Message Version)

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

19-21

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.

25-27

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God.It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.

28-30

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence.Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear.Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst.

31-33

Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return.If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: